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12th April 2009: So, considering all the fun and games of last night, you'd expect tonight to be much of the same.  Oddly, not.  The worst customers we have had all night were a group of three girls, one of which whispered something into her mate's ear, and her mate then turned around and said "What?", looked at me, then looked back to her mate and said "How?  Really, I mean how?"  Ah, I think I was supposed to be upset by three silly little girls.  Bless.  The other bad customer we had were two girls, both of which definetly fit into both the plus size and chav catagories of life.  The former is fine, the latter is just terrible.  And my god, did they ever have verbal diahorea.  And only girls like these can come out with the following - "We're not bad customers really" "No, we're good girls" "Yeah.  We behave.  Oh!  After midnight!  Half price after midnight mister!" And then they yelled at me for walking away with my head in my hands going "Oh.  My.  GOD!" as they packed their bags.  But at least they weren't trying to steal alcohol or pick fights.  This is a good thing.  Of course, everyone wants alcohol.  And most people tonight are bewing well behaved.  But there are still those who manage to make morons look intelligent.  More than once tonight I have had the following conversation: "Are you still selling alcohol?" "No, not until 6am" "Oh, ok.  So I can still buy beer/wine/spirits?" But the highlight of the night is going to have to go to the kids who arrived, bought a porn mag, then asked me whether I read them for free (I don't, they bore me) and also asked me if I go home and try out the new positions in the magazine, which makes me think perhaps they're a little amatuer towards these magazines.  They asked if I get sex on tap at home, and their faces fell when I grinned and said "Yeah, pretty much whenever".  I've always said that I won't embarrass anyone buying a porn mag as long as they don't try to embarrass me when I'm selling it to them.  Because if they do, they're going to be the ones crestfallen or leaving red faced.  And the best bit was what they said afterwards.  They asked me if we had a toilet, so I told them where it was.  Then they giggled and asked if it had toilet paper in it.  I told them it did, and they told me they were off to go masturbate in our toilets.  I wished them luck and told them that the toilets didn't actually lock.  They told me they did, because it was an electronic lock.  I laughed and told them it was broken.  So they agreed as they were leaving to take it in turns.  Until the other one decided to go and put his arm around his friend and say "It's ok, you can come in too and watch me". Permalink |