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Store Manager | 13.08.08:
Meetings with Pedro, Busy Tuesdays, Russian Roulette Blogging, Does
Chocoholics Anonymous Exist?, Clear Instructions, Confused English and
Does Management Have A Little Crush On Me? New Music Of The Day: Underdog Victory - Suckers For The Mainstream Free MP3 Of The Day: The Faint - The Geeks Were Right So, I got into work and was given a letter immediately by Mr DJ. He also told me there were ones for Miss C and The Bomshell, but not Slaphead. This concerned me just a little since I know Pedro likes Slaphead, hates Miss C and hates The Bombshell. Apparently he likes me, but I personally think differently. Anyway, so this letter is a forced invite to a meeting about night shift with Pedro. Fun. Although the invite itself is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Names have been replaced to protect the guilty. Hi TSM, Pedro would like you to attend a Night Team meeting on 18th August 2008 at six thirty AM. If you have any thoughts of quires of your own then please feel free to bring these along with you. Kind Regards Queen Chav. Well, I was not informed that I needed to be able to sing for this job. Certainly not that I might need to be part of a quire! And as for thoughts of my own...well...I work for SF, why on earth would they think I have thoughts of my own? And tonight has been heaving! I must have served half of Lymington tonight! It literally only quietened down at about one in the morning. It's just insane for it to be this busy in the middle of the week! I mean seriously, do people have nothing better to do than go out drinking on a Tuesday night and then come 15 minutes walk minimum to a petrol station to buy food? People say that the pub trade is in serious decline. You know what? I'd like to see that. Even a tiny bit of proof of that would be lovely. Because fewer drunks equals a happier shift for me. Right now I am playing Russian Roulette blogging. The idea is simple. Sit in the garden with a reasonably expensive laptop, cup of tea, blog notes and a packet of Cadbury's Chocolate Buttons. Then wait for ominous black clouds to appear in the sky out of nowhere. Being chased by blue sky. Is it going to rain? Is the laptop going to get wet? Is there going to be rain in my tea? Or worse! On my buttons! These are questions we yet do not know the answers to. But time will tell. This is the thing. I get an hour break at work, and I try to write some of my blog at work because, well, making money on company time amuses me. But an hour isn't really enough. Plus the eee PC keyboard is prone to mistakes (fixing that, got a new sub laptop arriving today or tomorrow!) and internet access at work is patchy in that if the wind is blowing in the right direction, I get connected. So I have to write some of my blog at home too. And this Autumn appears to be decisively tempremental. So far we have had glorious sunshine and a month's rain in a day. Inside thirteen days. But worst of all...the wind is trying to claim my Cadbury's Buttons! Last night we had a guy who I think may possibly be the biggest chocoholic in the world. I mean, to the point where I think he needs help. He came to the counter with five four finger kit kats, two twixes, none of which were on offer. Then he looked at them, pondered, and said "Wait, I need some more". Then dashed off and came back with a large slab of dark chocolate and a large slab of white chocolate. Six pounds worth of chocolate all for one guy. Now, you may be thinking "But perhaps some of it was for his kids too!" I doubt this. I try so hard not to judge people, but when they come in and they are huge, and then buy six quid's worth of chocolate, I don't think he intends sharing. Now, I know I may be sounding a little hypocritical, since I am not exactly small of stomach, but, if I buy that much chocolate, it's for a week, not a day. Although I will now be controversial and say that I do think kit kats and twixes are both disguisting. Please, flame away. So this guy comes in during the delivery, and time is at a premium anyway, so clear instructions are always welcome. However, there is a line between clear and taking the mick. This guy fell into the latter. He struts to the counter, stares me in the eye and with his best possible English announces: "One twenty marlboro cigarette light". Bless. I am so glad that a long time ago I learned how to laugh on the inside without showing on the outside. And I do realise that his English was far and away better than whichever language he speaks natively. But there is overstating what it is that you want, and that was a prime case. I mean, was that a literal translation? I'd assume 20 cigarettes and a brand was 20 cigarettes and a brand in any language. And I know I have international readers, so, please enlighten me! This said, his leaving message was equally overstated. "Thank you. Goodbye. See you." But it's not just people who speak English as a foreign language who have trouble with English. No. Last night I had what is easily the most bizarre reply in the history of my time at SF. I gave the guy his change and told him how much it was. His reply? "That's your problem." It's one of those replies that you think "Did you really just say that?" The thing is, I rarely mishear things, especially that close, and he wasn't exactly mumbling. It was just one of those times where you wonder precisely how strong some people have a grip on reality. Lastly, something a little fun for a change. As ridiculous as it might sound, I wonder whether Shoe is flirting with me. When I was younger and a little more naive to the world, I read a lot about body language, because due to my Autism it was a complete mystery to me. The great thing is though that if I learn something I can kind of turn it on and turn it off and now it's off most of the time. However, when I am around women I'm always kind of interested in reading their body language. Namely because women confuse the hell out of me! Anyway, I have noticed more and more than Shoe is coming up to me and telling me things she really doesn't need to. Also, nine times out of ten when she's talking to me she's making a lot of eye contact and flicking her hair. If she is, then I am flattered, but if she isn't meh, it doesn't bother me. Permalink | |
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