Visitors Since 22nd April 2008:

Supermarket Soap
Daily life behind the counter
www.supermarketsoap.co.uk

Contact Us | The Store Manager

14th October 2008: The Flying Scotsman Has A Stalker, We Like Bouncer Girl, Bambi Broke The Tills!, Easy Deliveries, Contests and Meetings! Streaming Song Of The Day: Another Way To Die by Jack White and Alicia Keys (the new Bond theme!) Free MP3 Of The Day: The Streets - The Escapist and three other free MP3s Yet again, tonight is another really slow night.  No funny customers, no angry customers, nothing.  Kind of annoying really.  The nearest thing we have had to funny customers have been Bouncer Girl and Benson.  Benson has a massive crush on The Flying Scotsman.  She was in 5 times yesterday, and tonight she has already been in 3 times.  The Bombshell served her once, I served her once, and The Flying Scotsman served her once.  Both times anyone either than The Scotsman served her, she was quite grumpy.  The Scotsman served her and she was happy, chatty, and like her normal self.  Then there was Bouncer Girl.  We like her for many reasons.  Not least of which because she looks a little like a blonde Amy Lee.  She really should go back to being all dark and gothy.  WAY better.  Anyway, personal preferences aside, we like her because she is a bouncer at a nightclub, and she looks out for us too.  Like tonight for example, a kid was hanging around and being suspicious, so I went outside and smoked right opposite the doorway, ready to take him out if he stole.  Bouncer Girl hung around the doorway too, but on the inside.  Nice.  Then when I was queuing to pay for my BBQ chicken for lunch, The Scotsman said "Ah, having the chicken tonight?"  So I repled "Yes, I fancied the chicken".  Which made Bouncer Girl burst into giggles and comment "That sounded so wrong". But the staff have been causing problems today.  Bambi has broken Till 1.  Our till.  Bless her, she is really quite cute, and quite shy, but she cleaned the till and then it stopped working.  Bless.  I did try to defer the blame onto the The Bombshell by claiming that perhaps he looked at it.  That went down like a lead fart.  But tonight should be easy.  300 cases, only 100 of which are ambient, which makes my life a joy because I can just really let rip and destroy the delivery in the way I enjoy so much.  And to prepare for it, I am sitting down with my cup of Yerba Mate, my bottle of herbs and some caffeine chewing gum.  Oh, and a bag of Fruit Pastilles.  Ready to destroy the delivery so we can stand looking nonchelant when Queen Chav and Shoe come in in the morning.  I love being able to do that.  Also, I want to announce a new contest on Supermarket Soap.  Or at least the beginnings of a competition.  The prize is an invite to the closed beta of Spotify.  These are rare as all hell, and to get access you either need to know someone who has a premium account, like me, or buy a premium account, like I did.  So, how do you win my one remaining invite?  Well, this I haven't decided yet.  Comments containing suggestions are welcome and encouraged, although failing that I might construct my own idea.  For those who don't know what Spotify is, it's a little like Last.fm, except you pick what track you listen to.  And their music collection is massive.  Example, right now I am listening to everything from MTV Unplugged.  I am listening to Summer Of '69 by Bryan Adams (hell yeah!) but I have another 843 tracks I could be listening to.  The end of the shift was just beautiful.  We finished by 5:30am, and despite my being shouted at by The Bombshell for going for a cigarette with The Flying Scotsman, despite The Bombshell allowing it in the first place, everything was fantastic.  And funny.  First we chatted in the office about uniform.  The Flying Scotsman asked if he could have underpants and socks, which was refused.  Then The Bombshell asked if he could have extra extra extra extra extra large condoms.  In his own words, five times extra large condoms.  His request was met with laughter, and a refusal.  Although my request to let me wear my shirt uniform and a tie was granted.  Formality, here I come.  Then The Flying Scotsman asked if they had any rubber patches, so The Bombshell could repair his blow up doll.  Then The Bombshell was told to do a storewalk, which I tried to gatecrash but was denied in part by having to go and get an ice cream chiller.  But I was back for half the store walk.  I gatecrashed just to hear "And dayshift are put old milk at back and new milk at front, so they are sh*t.  And as you can see, the store is look perfect, so, nightshift are amazing."  I added that as a CSA on nightshift, I could testify that we were amazing.  The trainee store manager said she would ad dit to the comments.  At which point The Bombshell yelled "Thank you!  By the way, I am love you!"  Then we went back into the office, where The Bombshell made another request.  This time to ask if when Miss C goes off to have her kid, could we get a nice blonde haired or black haired girl to replace her.  Shoe offered, but The Bombshell said he wanted a nice girl.  Shoe yelled "Are you being rude about me?"  He apologised and said he needed a younger girl.  Shoe yelled "Are you calling me old?"  Bless.  She is about 50.  Not that she is old, but it probably isn't The Bombshell's idea of young.  So he screamed "I am need younger girl so I can teach her everything!"  Shoe pointed out that The Bombshell was right, there was nothing he could teach her.  At which point The Bombshell screamed "No!  I am not mean this!  Argh!  People!  Evacuate!  Run!  Leave!  Evacuate, evacuate!  Swipe and evacuate!"  He then backed out into the store yelling "Evacuate!  People!  Staff!  Customers!  Evacuate now!"  The customers looked at him oddly, until I told them to ignore him, as he was an idiot.  I felt that was sound advice.  Also, how else are you supposed to explain what a supervisor is doing to customers oblivious to a joke? Tags: Regular Customers,Spotify,Funny Meetings Permalink |

Technorati Profile Minutes Of Child Education Donated Since 06/10/08: 2250 Find out more here Archives April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 Podcast Archive Blogroll V And A In Milan Simple Man, Simple Thoughts The Purple Blug Erin O'Connor's Blog (love this) Paul Smith's Blog Abigail's Teen Diary Trump University Blog White Knight's Blog Not Always Right View blog top tags You Can Also Check My Twitter! - Updated all the time! Recent Comments