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Supermarket Soap
Daily life behind the counter
www.supermarketsoap.co.uk


17.05.08: Drunks, Short Men, Sir Slaphead, Inspections, Crusin' and You're Fired!

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So, to all intents and purposes, last night was pretty slow.  We had rushes of customers, meaning that we had a lot, then it died down, then we'd get another peak of customers.  Which is really annoying when you are trying to count then bundle newspapers to be returned.  Especially when you get drunken chavs coming in going “Oi mate, you got a Sun there?” and you've just finished counting the Suns and have already written it into the paperwork.  We had many drunken chavs last night. 

And speaking of drunken people, I had the one customer I hate above all others.  This guy is a real moron.  He comes in every Friday and Saturday, his head barely reaches the counter, and he has Short Man Syndrome.  And every time he comes in, he heads straight for me and tries to irritate me.  Night before last I got him back, he asked for Vodka and Malibu, and I said Ok.  He looked shocked and said “Really?” and then I laughed in his face and said “No!  Just kidding!”  Not used to being told No is our little friend, so he refused to move from the counter.  Until he was removed by another customer.  His latest trick is to say “Caution, wet floor” every time he sees me.  So last night, after hearing it three times, I smiled and said “Well, you be careful you don't slip then little man”.  He let out a frustrated shout, and stropped off into the sunset.  Thing is, this guy keeps threatening to complain about me, so I gave him the chance a couple of nights ago, and pointed him in the direction of my supervisor.  He refused to talk to him, saying he wanted to complain to head office instead.  Because they're gonna be interested in what a drunken midget has to say...

Last night it was Slaphead and I working together.  He's a great worker, doesn't always say a lot, but being a fellow Nicotine addict, he gives a lot of cigarette breaks.  He kept asking me if it was Ok that he was supervisor.  Thing is, he's older, and has a lot more experience of working in teams than I do.  Anyway, he's a nice supervisor, so I have no problem with him running the shift.  I just like pushing myself to the limit whilst having as little accountability as is humanly possible.  Accountability and responsibility aren't things I like, I prefer making everyone else look slow with my pace.  Which I did.  I got a literal pat on the back from Slaphead last night because he said I worked so relentlessly hard.  I did empty 2 cages before the delivery, and worked the entire warehouse, and returned all the papers.  And faced up the entire store single handedly.  In 6 hours.  Which I think was pretty damned good, especially considering I had a 15 minute break and a half hour break within those 6 hours, and several cigarette breaks. 

But easily the highlight of last night was the notice in our canteen.  It was the report from the inspection we had 2 nights ago.  And it was fantastic.  1 out of 10. With 1 being the worst score possible and 10 being the best.  We used to average 9 or 10, but this is our second 1 in a row.  Apparently, the store wasn't faced up (Queen Chav's fault), the bunkers weren't full (Rickaaaay's fault), the bakery stuff was low stocked (The Model's fault) and the queues were too long (Mr DJ's fault).  So now Mr DJ, Mrs DJ and Queen Chav are all forced to have a meeting with Pedro to explain.  I can't wait.  And the best bit?  It took place at 5pm, too far away from our shift for any of them to go “But it was nightshift!”

I got offered a new job yesterday.  Kind of.  My brother works for Carnival Cruises in the reservations department (not booking the cruises, looking after customers) and told me he was going on a 2 week cruise at the company's expense, as per the norm for newcomers, but he missed out on when he started.  Anyway, I asked if they needed any new starters, and he said that they did, and that if I wanted to join, he could get me and interview and get me past the interview really easily.

Lastly, the new rota has gone up, confirming I have the next week off (expect posts written in many strange places) and also has something quite odd.  Rickaaaay and Crack Baby both have one shift on the rota, today.  The rest of the hours are blank.  I've seen this before.  And it's not good.  This normally happens before someone is fired.  Guess Pedro looked at the CCTV and couldn't pick between which one of them drank the drink so fired both.  Nice one Pedro.  I bow.
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