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18th
November 2008:
Well, I am working on my own with The Scotsman. Seems that The Bombshell isn't well enough to return or management won't let him return. Either way, I am running the shift. Yippie skippy joy. Not. I hate running shifts. I hate the responsibility of it all. And on top of that, I have the joy of discovering that Pedro will be in at 7am on Saturday morning. Hurrah. Well. At least Slaphead is running that shift, so I don't have to worry about taking the blame for things. This said, there is one huge advantage to working with The Scotsman. I have discovered, or rather confirmed, he is an Athiest. I have nothing against people who don't believe. Actually, I quite like them. I find their staunch beliefs allow me to have a little fun with them. Example, he called the bible passages stories. I smiled and said "Stories with archeological evidence". I also pointed out how people who are prayed for have a 46% better chance of recovery than those who aren't prayed for. Fitting as he is going into hospital the week after next. And then there was the Hoover incident. No! Not as naughty as it sounds, but twice as funny. The Troll, our cleaner, plugged his Hoover into the UPS socket, and then went out for a cigarette and left his Hoover running. It blew up. So he strolls in, looks at the Hoover which is now venting smoke and goes "Heh heh, it's on fire". So I look at him incredulously and say "Unplug it!" He just stares and says "There's smoke coming out of it" So I yell at him to unplug it. Again, he stares and says "Yup, definetly on fire, it's got smoke coming from it" So I yell at the top of my voice at him to unplug it. Which he does. And then goes and tells the duty manager that his Hoover is on fire; leaving the damned thing there smouldering on the shop floor. I yelled at him to get it off the shop floor, and he tells me to calm down. I then yelled at him that The Vampire Queen, The Scotsman and several customers have complained about both the smoke and the smell. So he walks it all the way through the shop, rather than taking it out the front door which is just a few feet away from him. Thick does not do this man justice. But whilst this was all happening, we began training a new starter. She arrived a few seconds after the Hoover blew up. And when the Hoover blew, it also blew out two of the four tills. At which point, the till I was using decided it was going to refuse to accept swipe cards, leaving just one remaining till. Shoe kindly offered to jump onto the tills to relieve me, leaving me to clear the shop floor. So I did, and as I did I commented to the new starter who was obediently filling in her welcome pack "Welcome to hell." Permalink | |
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