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Contact Us | The
Store Manager | 26.08.08:
Good Moods, Budget Food, Memos, Pay Rises, Night Shift Humour, and
Dayshift Admire My Beard And Rightly So So tonight we had a special treat. The Bombshell was in a good mood! I know...I could hardly believe it myself either. So far tonight he has been singing Queen songs, cracking jokes, and even allowed me to have a free cigarette break, albeit under protest. But still, he is in a good mood. Quite incredible! I am still quite certain it won't last, but hey, it's going to be great whilst it lasts. Now, I mentioned a few days ago that I was on a budget. Well, it looks like this fortnight I am going to be mostly living on Cornish Pasties. For those who aren't from the UK, and have never visited, this is going to be reasonably hard to explain. A Cornish Pasty is kind of like a pie, but not really. And the filling is beef, onion, swede, pepper, mustard and coriander. And it is one of the tastiest things we make here in the UK. I mean, you just put it into the microwave for a minute, and you get a hot, spicy, really filling meal. See Speedy Snacks? It can be done! At the moment we have Ginsters Cornish Pasties on offer for two for one pound fourty. Two delicious, spicy little meals for less than one fifty. But enough about my lunch. Queen Chav is back from her holiday (which may have been a suspension) and is back to writing memos. I mean, what is wrong with the woman? Does she have nothing better to do? And how come Pedro isn't monitoring her memo writing output? However, with memos comes comedy, and this new one is no exception. She has written on the bottom of the memo about people having problems clocking in and out that "This is not expectable any longer". Oh really? What were you expecting? And is expectable a real word? This said, I know that Queen Chav is setting Miss C up for a fall. A customer came in last night and asked where some custard slices were, and when Miss C told him they were out, he replied "Oh, because Laura told me you had some. She'll just have to do without". Turns out it was her father, and her father reported back to Laura after Miss C had gone home. Sneaky. Now, I may have an alliance with Queen Chav, and I may dislike and distrust Miss C, but I am not a fan of behind the back tactics. Anyway, apart from Queen Chav's notice, there was another notice last night! One from the union and the board. These are always a lot of fun to take a look at. Namely because our union sucks and our board always whip them. This time apparently the union has whupped the board and the board didn't really care. 20p an hour payrise coming out way real soon! Hurrah! Credit crunch be damned, I am going to be getting more money for the same amount of work and the same job real soon. Can't wait. It all happens on the 28th September, which isn't that far away. And the cool thing is that our company isn't actually culling staff like a lot of other companies are. We've just taken on a new member of staff. No idea how to pronounce his name because he's from Poland. Apologies if that sounds racist, but sometimes their names look like a random selection of letters from the second half of the alphabet, and sometimes you really do need to say "excuse me, how do you pronounce that?" And, before anyone does accuse me of racism or flame me on the comments, I'm dating a woman from Honduras which is a really bad start to be a racist, and also I happen to think the Poles are one of the coolest races. Laid back, hard working, and with a sense of humour which is really hard to beat. I often talk about night shift's sense of humour, and I appriciate that sometimes it can be hard for people to understand it. However, I do have a fantastically great example for you. Slaphead asked me if we had anyone in at 6am, I told him that Evie was in. He asked who Evie was and I told him it was Evie (name withheld to protect my beloveds innocence). He said "Oh! Edna Everage!" I frowned and said "How dare you speak of my beloved like that!" He giggled and said "You do realise it's just The Bombshell in drag don't you?" So I skipped over to The Bombshell and told him he was a very clever man. He asked why I said that and I told him that I thought it was smart having two jobs here but not raising suspicions. He asked what I was talking about and I told him that Slaphead had told me that Evie was him in women's clothing. He went ballistic. He shouted "He is idiot! I am kill to him now! Where is he?" Just at that moment a sniggering Slaphead walked around the corner and said "You alright?" The Bombshell stormed off and slammed some black trays quite hard. A little later I asked him what size he was. He asked me what I meant by what size, and I told him I wanted to know what dress size he was. He yelled "Shut up!" at me. He later lost it when Slaphead told him that he couldn't sing. He told Slaphead that he was going to stop his cigarette breaks if he said he couldn't sing once more. I shot around the corner and said "You can't sing!" He screamed "You! You are not have cigarette break either now!" Lastly, I had a really strange experience today. One of the dayshift came in and messed up the display Slaphead had just tidied, so I told him to tidy it and then he told me to f off. Strange how I don't like dayshift so much. Anyway, then he told me he liked "all that" and indicated a chin stroking motion. For those who don't know or haven't been reading this that long, I have a quite long goatee. Wish it was longer, but hey. Anyway, then he begins asking me how long it took me to grow it and I shrugged and said "a few months, I don't know, randomly I get annoyed with it and just cut it off with a razor and start over". Which is true. I also told him I'll have to cut it off when I go to Gran Canaria because otherwise I get full on searches. Like as full as they can do without it being a strip search. Permalink | |
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