Visitors Since 22nd April 2008:

Supermarket Soap
Daily life behind the counter
www.supermarketsoap.co.uk

Contact Us | The Store Manager

29.08.08: Boring Days, Rude Men, Can The Power Rangers Drive Diesel Trucks?, You Are Not Too Good To Talk To Me, Idiot Customers and Hreatening Behaviour From The Boss! So, no entry yesterday namely because nothing interesting happened to me.  I had a small party with my best friend, we got drunk and he left mine at about 2 in the morning.  Then I stayed up until 10am and chatted at length with my gorgeous girlfriend.  As you can see, nothing happened.  Or rather, nothing I am confortable blogging about.  However, tonight we have had an absolute bonanza of customers who are freaks, wierdos, or just rude.  Gives me a lot to blog about which makes me a happy man.  First customer of the night was a middle aged couple.  Seemed nice enough until the man of the couple opened his mouth.  Rarely have I met someone I detested more than this gentleman.  The man was just plainly obnoxious.  First of all he turned to his wife who was buying chocolate and said "no, you are fat enough as it is."  She looked so sad at this comment and slowly put the bar back on the shelf.  Then when she joined him in the queue she asked if she could have a drink.  He told her no because the card was being charged.  I said I could stop it and he said "nobody asked you" then turned to his wife and said "if you wanted it, you should have asked earlier, it's your fault you're going to be thirsty".  Now, being on the front line in retail I see this a lot.  But this is what saddened me.  I could hear in her voice that she was from Poland.  Something tells me this isn't the life she expected when she came over.  And as my girlfriend constantly reminds me, to come to a foreign country and be with someone from that country, you have to give up everything from your home country.  So sad that one guy feels he can treat a woman this way. But we also have comedy today.  The fuel delivery driver came up, shoved his fuel card in my face and said "Take this, I'm gonna go diesel up."  And then walked off.  Diesel up?  I felt like saying to him "You're going to what?  Sorry.  Are you actually a power ranger?"  I mean, do people really speak like this in parts of the country?  And if they do, don't they feel slightly embarrassed when they hear other people outside their region speaking properly?  I do actually despair of the English language.  Linguists claim it's an evolution, it's not.  It's a bludgeoning.  I also had to deal with two of my least favourite types of customer.  The women, as it is invariably woman, who think they are too good to talk to me.  I smiled and said good evening to the first and she actually turned her back to me.  Reminds me, must get my knife sharpened.  Anyway, I then had to deal with her and her equally superiority complex infested boyfriend.  I asked them both if they wanted a bag, and both refused to say a word to me.  She then turned to him and said "Do we want a bag?"  He said no, so she looked down her nose at me.  One of the other idiotic types of customer we get are the ones who think they're out there and crazy whilst cool.  Like people who ride their bikes into the store.  Oh you crazy guy.  Watch me kick your back tyre.  Or like tonight, the skateboarder who was smart enough not to ride his skateboard around the store, but still supid enough to put a basket on it and put his shopping in said basket, then push his skateboard around with a foot.  I particularly wanted to yell at him when he managed to take out an entire shelf of bottles.  Instead I sauntered over and asked him to pick them up as we had just tidied that section.  He did, sheepishly.  He really didn't make me want ot like him any more when he came to the counter, grinned and said "dude!"  These are the kind of customers you want to tell to just get out.  Especially when like him, you have a girl with you and you're all kissy kissy with the girl.  But then I had just the most vile little woman in the world to deal with.  Rude customers I can deal with, but ones who just go out of their way to be a terrible customer just make me want to smash them over the head with the barcode scanner.  And then wish them a good day.  The worst part is, she obviously had ideas above her means, because she came in wearing a tracksuit top, stretch waistband jogging trousers, and extraordinarily greasy hair.  And more gold jewellery than Mr T.  So, she struts up to the counter, and states with folded arms "20 Soverign".  My, don't we smoke classy cigarettes?  So I scan them and say "4 pounds eighty..."  She retorts "I am not finished!  Get me a 20 pound Vodaphone top up card."  The thing is, the statement about the top up card was said so slowly and deliberately as if she had said "I'll have 20 soverign, pay with a 50 pound note and keep the change."  It was that grand a statement.  Well, if you were making a grand statement, you would have a contract phone, not a pay as you go phone.  So I went and put that onto her bill, and said "that's..."  She replied "I am still not finished.  Get me a packet of king skins."  Oh dear.  Has our mask slipped?  I asked which colour she wanted, and she actually tried to goad me into being rude.  She said "Well what colour do you think?"  She asked for the most expensive ones, and when I told her they were 89p, she said "I ain't paying that much!  Give me the cheapest ones."  But then she paid, and I took her money, and then she snatched her receipt out of my hand and strutted out the store.  If I had been less busy, I'd have been so tempted to cancel her stupid little phone credit... I also had one of the strangest experiences I have ever had in my life.  My supervisor faced off with me.  Slaphead and I were making jokes about Poland, as we do.  We make jokes about Poland, The Bombshell makes jokes about England.  It works.  So I was telling the driver about how I sent The Bombshell's Brother to The Isle Of Wight because I told him it was stuck in 1957 after an MOD experiment gone wrong.  And then sent him to the Job Centre for a job as a Long Weight Specialist.  He went, got angry and got banned.  But The Bombshell heard my annecdotes and daid "You have problem with my people?"  I told him that I likes Poles, and I thought they were a nice race.  He shrugged and said "Yeah, sure"  So I told him I liked them because they're funny, relaxed, and work hard.  He made the flapping mouth mime, then said "My hand, is fist of justice.  I remember everything you tell me, and one day, you get fist of justice."  I grinned and said "I look forward to it."  He then squared up to me and said "Yeah?  You want trouble?  I can give to you trouble now if you want"  So I gave him my dead man stare.  Right in the pupils of the eyes, no expression, and I can keep it up as long as I need to.  Apparently it's very intimidating, according to those who I've used it on.  I decided to be the bigger man and not hit him, but it was tempting.  He shook his head and stormed off.  I mean seriously, who threatens to punch their staff?  The guy is out of control.  This week he has caleld one member of staff ugly to her face, told Miss C that she is lazy and should be at home looking after her kid, has stated that he feels woman have no place driving a car, has reduced Miss C to tears , and has threatened to punch me.  And he is the supervisor.  Come back Malcs.  All is forgiven!    Permalink |

Podcasts 16th August 17th August 18th August - coming soon! 19th August 20th August 21st August Supermarket Soap Unwashed Episode 1 25th August 26th August 27th August 29th August Archives April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 Blogroll Vandaweb Simple Man, Simple Thoughts The Purple Blug Recent Comments