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31.05.08:
Micro Mood Swings, Miss C Is Still Lazy, Miss C Is Posh, I Rock,
Alcoholics, and Talent Shows Rock Too Free MP3 Of The Day: Ed Banger Records Ed Rec Volume 3 Teaser Today's post comes from the garden, as once again, it is hot in England! And last night was a real pain. I wanted to have an easy night because it was the last night before my long awaited day off. Unfortunately, fate and the ordering system conspired against me and made it one hell of a bad night. First up I had to deal with a micro mood swinging Slaphead. As he is the only other smoker on nightshift, when I saw him sitting in his car before work I went over to share a cigarette with him. I said hi, he said nothing. Always good. So I still hung around, mostly just to annoy him, and smoked. He put out his cigarette, smiled and said "So, ready for a real easy night then?" with a smile. In the space of 30 seconds he had gone from blanking me to joking with me. Fortunately I was in a decent mood so accepted his humour by telling him we had 500 cases coming in. Which put him back in a bad mood. Now to some this might sound counter intuiative, but there is a method to my madness. When he's in a bad mood, he doesn't talk to anyone and resembles a madman who wanders, doing his very important work, all the time mumbling to himself. As long as he isn't calling me Fozzy Bear or other stupid nicknames, I am a happy man. Then there was Miss C. Not content with starting as she meant to go on (definetly being covered later), she arrived a minute before the shift started and then when I smiled and said "Good evening!" she glared at me and snorted "What?" I repeated the smile and greeting and she muttered "Evening" before vanishing for 20 minutes to talk to Mr DJ and spreading her gossip about Shoe to Slaphead. Who swallowed it hook, line and sinker and came over to me to tell me. I then corrected him as I happen to know Shoe outside of work as well as inside work and know she is actually a very nice person. Didn't want to mention that yesterday but hey, needs must. And slightly off topic, a spider just tried to crawl inside my ethernet adaptor! Blogging outside is not without perils! We kicked off the evening with a fantastic argument about Miss C's accent. You see, Miss C is from Surrey, and speaks with a very distinct upper class accent. Now that she has moved from Surrey to Hampshire, she hates the accent thing being raised. So I do. Frequently. I mentioned to her that the new guy is very very well spoken. I told her that I hoped he was in at 7am, because then they could have an upper class accent face off. She yelled that she was not posh. I disagreed, and she went to Slaphead for the casting vote. Slaphead agreed with me that it is hard to say no to someone when they ask "Do I have a posh accent?" in a posh accent. She stropped off. Not before I asked her to say "Father's car is a Jaguar", which she did in a posh accent, and then I mocked her for shooting herself in the foot. And as she kicked the door open I said "Polo pony!" to which she looked at me incredulously and said "What?!?!?!?" and I replied "Polo pony!" She screamed and stormed into the warehouse. The rest of the night was pretty uniform. Many drunks. Many pretty girls not wearing a lot (there are perks to overnight retail...) Many many macho men trying to prove they are more macho than the rather hairy and very strange looking checkout guy. And then Miss C decided to kick off. Bad idea as last night I decided I am not taking any more BS from anyone. Friend. Enemy. Whatever. From now on I am operating a strict cause and effect policy. Be nice to me and I will be nice to you. Cross me, and you will be sorry. It's a simple but fair scheme I think. So she decided to ask whether or not I had worked the coffee section. When I told her I had she snorted and said "So why can I get two cases of stock out from the coffee section." I told her to quit being so petty. She told me that I was on thin ice already with management (true) and one bad comment from her could get me fired (sort of true, but not entirely accurate). And then she put her foot in it twice. First she told me not to climb on the warehouse shelves because I would buckle them. Now, I am a big guy, but I have no issues with my weight. I told her that she has issues with her weight and that maybe if she didn't want to be called fat, she should be a little more considerate when commenting on other people's weight. She apologised profusely, and I told her that her apology was unaccepted, as she was being hypocritcal by going off the deep end when we mention she's fat (she really is) but feels it's fine to say that by standing on a solid mental shelf, I could buckle it. She left looking worried. Now, everyone knows that two wrongs don't make a right. Three do. So, later on when Slaphead was working the crisps from the delivery, he pulled some multipack boxes of crisps from the warehouse. I let slip that Miss C had worked the crisps and that reprimanding her for missing said multipacks would be the only fair option because he had reprimanded me for a similar mistake a few days earlier. He agreed and did so. Vindication was mine, and Miss C walked on eggshells for the rest of the shift around me. And since we had so much on the delivery, I decided to prove a very important point. I shall continue after moving inside as the keyboard is currently actually too hot to type on... Ok, so, the laptop has cooled down now! A cigarette fixed this. Now, back to what I was saying. I decided to make a point about how good I am under pressure. Slaphead and Miss C worked the chilled, meat and produce, and I worked the ambient stock. I worked like a demon. By the time Slaphead and Miss C had worked the chilled, meat and produce, which was about 5 cages in total, I had worked 5 cages on my own. I think that proved my point without a shadow of a doubt. Slaphead even came up to me and said that he was glad I was there because otherwise they would be screwed. Nice. Admit that your "friend" is pretty much useless. Now, halfway through my impressive blitzing of the ambient, I had to deal with a regular. He normally comes in about midnight or 1am and wanders around, and comes back with something silly and often a porn magazine. However, he came in looking as startled as one of the rabbits outside. He came in, walked up to the closed off alcohol section and just opened up the shutter and took out two bottles of really cheap and nasty white wine (Piat Dor). I told him that I couldn't sell alcohol, and he said "But you are 24 hours!" I explained that this didn't apply to alcohol, and he told me that it should. I explained that it didn't. He huffed and said "Well when can you start beginning selling alcowine?" At this point the red flag was well and truely raised. Alcowine? This drunk at 5am and wanting more alcohol? I told him he would have to come back at 6am. He snorted and told me that he would be back in an hour. He came back about an hour and a half later and smirked at me, whilst zig zagging all over the place. I didn't sell him the alcohol, but the Polish girl on the checkouts at 6:30am did. Personally, I wouldn't have sold him anything, as he was quite obviously drunk and an alcoholic. So, that pretty much sums up my night last night. I am off tonight, and we're having a family barbecue during which I will have a few drinks, and then settle down to flick between the Britain's Got Talent and I'd Do Anything finals. I want Jodie to win I'd Do Anything, although the other girl, Jessie is pretty damned good too. Not so much Samatha, she doesn't really put much emotion into her performances. As for Britain's Got Talent, I either want Signature or Escala to win. Signature are just so unique and out there, and I could happily sit and watch an entire show of theirs. They combine Bollywood, Micheal Jackson and humour to make something the likes of which you have never seen before in your life. Will try and post vids tomorrow! Then there is Escala, who are just hot. They look stunning (especially the redheads), their violins look gothic, which always strikes a chord in my heart. And the music is just breathtaking. Although, I wish they had done Requiem For Dream, even if it would have come across as kissing up as it's the judges theme... Permalink | |
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