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18th
April 2009: Tonight started out great, and has rapidly gone downhill from there. So before I even clocked in, I was in fits of giggles because The Bombshell kicked what he thought was an empty cardboard box. It actually turned out to be a water pump for the car wash. Quite large, and really quite solid. More solid than The Bombshell's foot anyway, which he insists on covering with football boots with the studs removed. The air was turned blue really rather quickly. Then there was The Scotsman. My god. I really don't get the man. Although I am considering the theory that perhaps he is just an utter sociopath. First he was all short with me. Then when he saw I had a trolley of chilled stuff he stormed over to me and said "Why are you doing the chilled?" I asked him if he wanted to do it, and he snorted "I asked you a question, answer it!" I just hung and shook my head and said "Great, this again" and walked off. Thing is, really not in the mood for grumpy old sociopaths. But so far the funniest part has been the break system. You see, there are four of us on tonight, and as such The Bombshell is giving people their breaks earlier. Because he isn't smart enough to figure that he can send two people on their break at the same time. Anyway, between The Scotsman and Slaphead, they engineered it so that my break was last. With The Scotsman coming up to me at the end and saying "I have finished my break now". I think they think breaking my routine and then rubbing it in my face is going to annoy me. All it's going to do is make me realise just how petty and stupid they are. Anyway, just one more shift before I have a weeek off. Can't wait. Plus we had The Bombshell in a bad mood for the rest of the night because he can't take a joke. Well, apparently no-one can take a joke on nights, but this is besides the point for now. Slaphead said to me that The Bombshell was a muppet. When I asked why, he said it was because he was still breathing. So I told The Bombshell that Slaphead requested that he stopped breathing because it was annoying him. He stormed up to Slaphead and yelled that he was a racist nazi. The latter part of the insult was because Slaphead is vaguely german. And then The Bombshell sulked for the rest of the night. After that, we discovered that The Scotsman can't take a joke either. He came to my till for bread and I said "Oh, you". He yelled "What do you mean by that?" I said "Well, can't you tell by my tone?" He yelled "No! I can't! I demand you tell me what you meant!" I told him that if he couldn't tell from my tone what I meant then I wasn't going to spell it out to him. He snorted and said "Fine, I'll remember that." And thrust his discount card at me. So I swiped it, then he thrust a lottery card at me. I asked if he wanted it checked and he didn't say a word. After processing it, he held his hand out. I asked if he wanted a receipt, and he said nothing. I printed him a receipt and said "Fine, have a receipt. Even though you're going home right now, have a receipt to prove to your doggies you didn't steal the bread." He promptly told me to F off. And I have 8 hours of working with this arse tonight on my own. Joy. Permalink | 17th April 2009: Well, this is going to be a very short entry. Namely because I went to bed late this morning and and went to go post a letter to my girlfriend (very long story). So, I haven't had a lot of time to blog. Or work on my Linux distro which is a huge shame. I do also want to comment on The Pirate Bay story. I am sick and tired of hearing "The popular but illegal site" from the media. It's not illegal. If The Pirate Bay is illegal, then so is Google. The Pirate Bay is a search engine. We had a similar case here in the UK with a site called Tv-links.co.uk which did similar things. It was a search engine for online video in the form of films and tv shows. The police here were forced to apologise and release the owner. The way I see it, this is going to go the same way. They'll appeal and get off scott free. Ok, so that's it for me today. Sorry for the tiny entry! Permalink | 16th April 2009: Wow, tonight has been the slowest night I can remember in a long time. We've actually had so few customers I have had to resort to upselling. Which I personally think I am quite good at. I've never had someone say "No, you're alright mate" when trying to upsell. And tonight was no exception. A taxi driver came in and had a pack of 4 toilet rolls (£2.09) but instead I pointed him in the direction of our 24 for £6 Andrex offer. He dumped his toilet rolls and bought the offer ones. And then the girl behind him squealed and declared it a bargain and bought some too. Result. One upsell and one new sell. Truely I am a retailing god. The only other big thing that has been happening is name badges. Apparently we all have to wear one now. See how long that lasts. Although they are enforcing it with a "No badge, get a disciplinary" thing. Does seem a touch extreme in my eyes, but hey ho, let's see what happens when people get enough warnings to be fired for it. Methinks they will back down. I do want to also tell the tale of the girl who was in yesterday morning but was in so late in my shift she didn't make the cut for the blog. So, she went to the cash machine and the transaction completed, but didn't give her her £40. So she complained, very nicely and sweetly to me. She's a regular and an absolute love. Anyway. So she came to my till and tried to pay for the newspapers she buys for a local hotel with her card. It declined. So she tried to pay with the money in her purse, but came up short by 30p. The poor thing looked like she was about to cry, so I said to her "Not your morning is it? Give me what you have, I'll ring it up as the right price." She looked like I had made her day and said "Seriously? You'd do that?" So rather than going off and probably crying in her car (never a good thing), she went off literally skipping out of the store. I put the 30p into the till myself, much to the bemusement of the supervisor who does prices (really can't use our acronym). And lastly for tonight as I want to get this encoded to bloggy format and then uploaded since eagle eyed viewers may have realised that yesterday's post was actually posted at about 11:58pm (don't ask). I am really happy tonight. Our neighbours across the road consistently complain about the amount of noise I make bringing the cages over. It is hard to make overgrown shopping trolleys which weigh 25 kilos each quiet though. So, retribution came today in the beautiful form of railway workers with hammers, chainsaws and spotlights with the brightness of the sun. At least I believe they were spotlights. Could have been magic since tonight is a cloudy night, and above the spotlights I saw stars. I kid you not. Permalink | 15th April 2009: Tonight has just been sheer frustration. Nothing else but. The Bombshell is walking around like a bear with a sore head because he hasn't slept. Which is apparently our problem. Or at least he is making it our problem. This said, he did make it work for us too. Crackbaby is covering my shifts whilst I am on holiday next week, and he said to The Bombshell that he only has to work the tills. The Bombshell glared at him and said "Yeah, sure, we are see." I think it's going to be hilarious seeing the pair of them work together. Hilarious, and war. Then there is The Scotsman. There are very few people in this world I actually hate. I feel hate is a very strong, and very bitter word. However, it also sums up my feelings for The Scotsman. He is always right. Every time. And no-one, not a single person in this world is right apart from him. I despise people like that. He stormed up to me and said "Oi! You! You put the sandwiches out last night, why aren't they rotated!" I argued that he worked the chilled, I just put new sandwiches behind the ones which are already out. He said "No. Don't you dare accuse me of not doing my job. It was you. And I demand answers!" I calmly told him I didn't answer to him and walked away. To screams of "Oi! Oi! I'm still talking to you!" As for customers, tonight there was Long Haired Posh Hippy. We like him. Namely because everyone else in the store hates him. He's a creative, and therefore I feel a kind of kinship with him. That and he is the most relaxed person I know. Anyway. He came in and bought a bag of out of date pastries, which I sold to him for 10p each. He was overjoyed at this and went off to get more, until the girl he was with yelled that they were going to leave without him unless he hurried up. Naturally, he was unfazed and said that he had the food and asked her if she wanted a soft drink. She said she did, but also wanted to get home. Also naturally, the girl he was with was a 17 year old musician... And I have truely gained vengence on The Scotsman. He decided to really kick me in the teeth and take his lunch at 2am, the time everyone in the store knows I take my lunch. So, I decided that at 2:30am, I was going to take mine. And I did. Just as the truck turned up. So I got my stuff and got in the queue, only to hear the wails of "But you can't go on your lunch, the delivery is here!" I grinned and looked him in the eye and said "I don't care". He wailed "But there are going to be heavy cages, and The Bombshell is ill and my hip hurts!" Again, I smiled and said "I refer you to my previous answer." He looked in desperation at The Bombshell who shrugged and said "What I can do? He is allowed". Permalink | 14th April 2009: Tonight has all the hallmarks of being a bad night. The Scotsman got out of his car, was nice as pie to me, and then verbally assaulted me. And HE has a problem with ME, after HE defaced my colleague of the month certificate. Unbelievable. But then it is not surprising considering what a nest of vipers I work in. You see, Slaphead told The Scotsman that I told him that he hated The Scotsman. Not entirely true. What happened was that Miss C told me that Slaphead didn't like The Scotsman, and I asked if this was true, and he told me that it was. Now The Scotsman is demanding to know who told me, since I told him that several people have told me. Several trustworthy people. Including Queen Chav and Shoe. Namely because they don't like The Scotsman either. So, he has been verbally abusing me all night. So far I have been called a backstabber, a s**tstirer, a horses backside (not that politely phrased) and a snake. And then to top it all off, he told me that he isn't going to waste another breath on me. I think that was supposed to hurt my feelings. However, I endured 16 years of bullying at school (from preschool to college) and it takes a little more than name calling to hurt me. And he would be unwise to physically assault me as I'd press charges and inform management, doubley wrecking his life. And if he informs management that I am spreading rumours (likely) then I'll inform them of the true story. Any way you look at it, he cannot beat me, so he doesn't bother me. Permalink | 13th April 2009: So, last night I wasn't at work, so I had a few drinks with my best friend, and we played Guitar Hero World Tour until the early hours of the morning. We actually played 6 songs, then moved over to Rock Band and played Creep (well, I played and sang, my friend just sang). I also uninstalled Windows 7. Pretty as it is, wired internet on a spare laptop is no good to me. I need wireless. I can live with wired internet on my main laptop, but Windows will never be a part of my main computing experience. So I tried installing Wubi on Windows 7, which Windows 7 flatly refused to boot. So I ran the Ubuntu 9.04 installer and wiped the entire hard disk. Then installed Windows 7 in a virtual machine, which is actually behaving itself more than XP ever did. Impressive, but no wireless (Ubuntu can make the virtual machine believe it has a physical network connection) means that it's never going to be a full replacement for me. Sorry MS, you continue to lose me. But I do want to talk about Ubuntu 9.04. It's so good. The installer has got rid of one of my bugbears, which was the picking of location. Before you had to go all the way down to London in a list of worldwide countries. Now you can filter by geographic region. Much easier. Also, the installer won't think London is on New York time anymore. Also good. And I am loving the Knightrider style loading bar. And the darker graphical look. Lastly, somewhat but not entirely out of computing - I just wanted to make my feelings known about Derek Draper. This is a guy who has intruiged me for a long time. You see, he is married to the journalist and presenter Kate Garraway. Now, whenever he is in the papers, his occupation is listed as psychotherapist. Which has always bothered me. How does someone relatively famous but not in need of psychotherapy get to meet a psychotherapist. But this weekend has answered all that. Derek Draper is not a psychotherapist. Derek Draper used to be Peter Mandelson's aide. And now runs a well respected political blog which is pro labour. Why is this of interest? Because the guy who has been fired from the government this weekend e-mailed ideas back and forth with Derek Draper. And staggeringly, his name has been kept out of most of the reports I have heard. To say it is because journalists don't want to critically damage the reputation of one of their own would be idle speculation. Besides, he is just a psychotherapist, right? Permalink | 12th April 2009: So, considering all the fun and games of last night, you'd expect tonight to be much of the same. Oddly, not. The worst customers we have had all night were a group of three girls, one of which whispered something into her mate's ear, and her mate then turned around and said "What?", looked at me, then looked back to her mate and said "How? Really, I mean how?" Ah, I think I was supposed to be upset by three silly little girls. Bless. The other bad customer we had were two girls, both of which definetly fit into both the plus size and chav catagories of life. The former is fine, the latter is just terrible. And my god, did they ever have verbal diahorea. And only girls like these can come out with the following - "We're not bad customers really" "No, we're good girls" "Yeah. We behave. Oh! After midnight! Half price after midnight mister!" And then they yelled at me for walking away with my head in my hands going "Oh. My. GOD!" as they packed their bags. But at least they weren't trying to steal alcohol or pick fights. This is a good thing. Of course, everyone wants alcohol. And most people tonight are bewing well behaved. But there are still those who manage to make morons look intelligent. More than once tonight I have had the following conversation: "Are you still selling alcohol?" "No, not until 6am" "Oh, ok. So I can still buy beer/wine/spirits?" But the highlight of the night is going to have to go to the kids who arrived, bought a porn mag, then asked me whether I read them for free (I don't, they bore me) and also asked me if I go home and try out the new positions in the magazine, which makes me think perhaps they're a little amatuer towards these magazines. They asked if I get sex on tap at home, and their faces fell when I grinned and said "Yeah, pretty much whenever". I've always said that I won't embarrass anyone buying a porn mag as long as they don't try to embarrass me when I'm selling it to them. Because if they do, they're going to be the ones crestfallen or leaving red faced. And the best bit was what they said afterwards. They asked me if we had a toilet, so I told them where it was. Then they giggled and asked if it had toilet paper in it. I told them it did, and they told me they were off to go masturbate in our toilets. I wished them luck and told them that the toilets didn't actually lock. They told me they did, because it was an electronic lock. I laughed and told them it was broken. So they agreed as they were leaving to take it in turns. Until the other one decided to go and put his arm around his friend and say "It's ok, you can come in too and watch me". Permalink | 11th April 2009: Wow what a night is has been so far. I really hate bank holiday weekends. Full of drunken holiday maker idiots. And none worse than our first lot of customers tonight. They wanted cigarettes, but an obscure brand. Now, The Bombshell is a non smoker, so he couldn't find them. So this bunch of londoners decided to hassle him over it. All half dozen of them. Now, one rude customer is enough, six is too many and I won't stand for six on one. So I got on the tills. The guy said to me "Won't ask for fags, you f'ckers can't find 'em, even though they're right behind ya!" I just bit my tongue. So he said "Smile, it's almost good friday! What's the matter with you? Miserable f'cker." So I said "Abusive customers". He looked shocked and said "Oi! I ain't being abusive, if you want abuse, come down to london mate, you'll get abuse there!" Well, 1 - great advert for london pal, and 2 - I'm not standing for that. So I replied "Been there. Twice. Didn't like it. It's a dump." He replied with "Yeah? Well you ya pikey and your Polish c*** can f*** off." Then turned around to his mate and said "Give him abuse, he don't like it." He opened his mouth, but I looked him right in the eye and said "You and your friends are one four letter word from the police. Come on, try me." He quietly said "Just this". But in the background UI saw his friends trashing our personell board. So I got my phone out dialled 444 (my top up number) and mocked informed the police. I have never seen obsece cockneys move so fast or cars leave so fast. But the incident did remind me of a line from WWE. The Undertaker (to whom sometimes I bear a striking resemblence to) once dared an opponent to a Hell In A Cell match and added "Try me, I'll make you famous". So, 1000 readers a month isn't quite famous, but on average, 35 people will see this... Then Teeny came in again. Her petrol driver was in, so she came in and made bacon rolls for me and him. Which was a nice little bonus. The Bombshell freely admitted she could make them, and we could eat them, and he would see nothing. Also a nice little bonus. And tonight we have had 2 people come in and steal alcohol. It's been so long since anyone did on nights. Namely because I walk around looking moody as all hell, and frankly, it scares the hell out of the little wannabe chavs. Which works for me. But one guy was absolutely fearless. He came in, said "I know you won't sell it to me, so, here is three quid". Then walked over and took a £2.99 bottle of wine and walked out. I mean, come on. WTF. That is really taking the biscuit. But tonight no-one is immune from my mood. And I am in a really bad mood. Don't ask why. Maybe those guys. Maybe all the mouthy customers. Maybe because it's raining. Could even be because it's a day with a y in it. But I am in a foul mood. And even The Bombshell who I protected earlier got the blunt end of it. He asked me whether I wanted to finish working the big crisps or if he should. I glared at him and said I'd finish it, but I was actually facing up so that Shoe didn't scream at him in the morning for the store looking terrible. He is now quietly facing up the store alone. So, as I write this, the total number of thefts has gone up to 5, and I have had a threat of violence made against me. This drunk guy (who was driving) came in with his girlfriend and began yelling at me "Your Polish mate is a d*ck!" His girlfriend told him to shut up and said she would pay for the petrol. He insisted and came in. And when he saw The Bombshell he yelled "Oi mate, can I buy alcohol yet?" I said "You can get it at 6, no earlier". He glared and said "Wasn't talking to you, f*ck off". So I glared back. Which got the reply of "Don't look at me like that, don't you dare f*cking look at me like that! Sh*t f*cking shop." I politely told him that if he didn't like it, he could shop somewhere else. He yelled "Well I can't buy f*cking alcohol anywhere else can I?" I told him it wasn't our problem. So he said to me "Know what mate, wind your neck in or bang bang I'll punch you in the head and you'll have a little sleep!" I had to try so hard not to laugh, because he was paraphrasing a line from Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men. On the advert there is a guy who says "If I tap you on the cheek, you're going for a kip". It sounds like a laughable threat from a gangster, let alone a drunk. So I told him "Sure, whatever". At which point he said "How dare you talk to me like that, you filthy bearded f*cking c*nt". His girlfriend got him to leave before I lost my temper. And for 10 minutes he sat in his car outside and waited for us. Moron. And then we're going to have it all over again tonight, and Sunday, and Monday. Gotta love Bank Holidays. Permalink | 10th April 2009: So, I had last night off, which means another little personal blog entry rather than a work entry. I actually had a really good night last night. I played roulette via Roulette Nation on Virgin One, and you know what? I had a really good time. A much better experience than I was expecting. I was only going to play for an hour, but in the end, I played for an hour and a half. I do need to give a big shout out to Ruth at Roulette Nation for making the night a really fun one. Great presenter. Cute, a redhead, just a little too thin for my tastes, but funny. Then I spent a little time setting up the GPS on my new Nokia E90. Very nice little system. It's actually more accurate than Google Maps. Google Maps tells me I am in the wrong place on my road. My GPS told me that I was at the end of another road, not my road. And you know what? Technically that was true. My back garden comes out into another road, and this is where my GPS told me I was. Now, considering that I was in our conservatory at the back of my house, this was true. I was impressed. Plus, I have installed Windows 7 on a spare laptop I have. And you know what? I'm somewhat impressed. Loving the new logo. Loving how Windows 7 automatically does compatibility mode for older software (like The Sims). However, I'm going to use the latest in Microsoft software to do highly important tasks. Play The Sims, Poker, Roulette, mission critical stuff. Whilst my Linux laptops will be doing unimportant things like running my blogs, running Skype, business e-mails. That kind of thing. Yes, Microsoft, truely you have converted me. Permalink | 9th April 2009: Last night was a really dull one. Hardly any customers, no trouble, and The Bombshell was in a mood. I have no idea what set it off, he was in a bad mood when he arrived. He claimed he hadn't slept. So I offered him some of my chocolate covered espresso beans. He ate them and perked up. And then fell back into his foul mood. I mean, he literally said half a dozen words to me between 11pm and 3am. Then Teeny came in. She has a crush on the petrol delivery driver. So she came in at 3am and made him a load of bacon sandwiches. She asked The Bombshell if he wanted one, and he just smiled at her. I mean, the guy is an absolute arse when he is in a bad mood. Then there was the fact that he said to her that he thought she was sleeping with the driver. She giggled and said "Oh I wish mate! But I am a woman, and I have needs, and you are lovely!" He screamed like a woman and yelled "I am no jealous!" But then I exacted revenge on him. I offered him the same deal I offered Slaphead. I'd do the chilled, meat and produce if he did the ambient. He agreed, and despite us both having 160 cases, I had to finish one of his cages for him. Much to his annoyance. I did smile at him and told him that I was the best at what I do on any given night. He snorted and said "I am the busy, I am no have time for games". I grinned and said "I am the one on the tills, serving customers. I have worked the bread, the meat, the produce and the chilled. You are still on the ambient". He sulked off. And then Queen Chav came in and tried to be all bolshy with me. It didn't work because I turned on the charm. And that did work. She asked The Bombshell if he had any issues on his shift, and he just pushed past her into the office. At which point she turned to me and said "Ok, fine. Any issues TSM?" I told her that there were none, until The Bombshell came up to me and screamed "I am only haved the one day off on this rota! Why?" So I went through the rota with him and showed him his days off, then turned back to Queen Chav and said "Actually, I do have an issue. Why do I STILL need to explain the rota to the man who is my supervisor?" She laughed and we discussed my going on a course. I am damned if I am going on it. It's a 4 day course, which means one day on days. To hell with that. I don't do days. And tonight I am off. So I am planning on doing a little programming after I post this, then watching Hostel 2 whilst I chat with my beautiful girlfriend. Well, it was £2.99 at work, and I figure I deserved a treat after trouncing the two men in terms of performance, who are supposed to be in charge of me and are supposed to be making me look slow. Lastly, I have a new toy. A Nokia E90. It's a satnav, MP3 player, digital camera and mobile phone all in one. It's a business smartphone which I am running on a pay as you go sim card. It's one of the Nokia Communicator range, and I have to say I already love it. Thing is - Nokia Communicators are amazing. Yes, ok, they are bricks, but the look on people's faces when you open it up and reveal not just a QWERTY keyboard but a 2nd screen which is widescreen is so good. And if I can blog from it, I am going to have a good go at doing so. Permalink | 8th April 2009: Last night was an odd night. I fell asleep early, much to my long suffering girlfriend's annoyance. Thankfully we have made up now, so everything is more or less right in my world once more. As I wasn't working last night, I watched Wrestlemania 25. All in all a very enjoyable 3 hours 45 minutes of wrestling, although as always, there were some high spots and some low spots. Considering how it was marketed, I felt that the money in the bank match was disappointing. Can someone in the WWE please just fire Hornswaggle? It was a poor joke at the start, and has just gone downhill from there. I don't get Kofi Kingston at all. Yet again Kane was underused. Finlay is...well...past it. Sorry, but he is. Christian was tragically underused (I was certain he would win). Shelton Benjemin is someone else I don't understand. Mark Henry is just a joke (did love the world's strongest slam into the ladder though). And CM Punk was good. By that I mean he was OK, but as an ECW Original - WHERE WAS THE EXTREME? I'm not going to comment on the Diva's Rumble. Suffice to say that Santino Morella is another Hornswaggle. I hate comic relief characters. Kid Rock was awesome. Loved the mini concert. Have to wonder whether someone from the Miz and Morrison vs Carlito and his brother match did a no show. And the main event in my eyes was always going to be HBK vs Undertaker. My god, what an epic match. The look on Taker's face when the Tombstone didn't keep Shawn down. The Sweet Chin Music not being enough. HBK's escape from Hell's Gate. Not forgetting that incredible chokeslam. Well played Taker and HBK. This match was a pure example of why I love WWE. Not that I am advocating it, but if you get a chance, watch it on YouTube. That is an instant classic. The Hardy's match was a huge disappointment. We have Jeff Hardy who is a hardcore specialist vs Matt Hardy who is tragically underused and more tragically quite overweight. This should have been a nice, long, hardcore (sorry, "extreme") match. What we got was a 10 minute match which wasn't very hardcore (that legdrop should have hit) and the wrong person won. As for Jeff Hardy as a heel. Never gonna work. The fans love him too much. Very quickly on the HHH vs Randy Orton match. Disappointment. Highlight of the match was easily HHH being dropped into a table that IMHO should have broken but didn't. I think the same happened here as happened with the Taker/Shawn match. Accident happened and the other wrestler had to make time to ensure the match continued. Notice how the ref slowed down suddenly for the last count? HHH barely made it, and something tells me even HHH didn't want it that close. Oh, and finally, the Edge vs Big Show vs Cena match. Where do I begin. Ok, so the Cena entrance was amazing. I liked it. Not bad considering that I hate Cena and think he can't wrestle. I don't like Edge as a heel. Big Show should have won. Cena's finishing moves are pathetic. If you want flair, the 619 has it. MVP and Cena suffer the same problem. Same problem I had with The Rock. Their finishers take too long and are too showy. Kane's chokeslam. Looks great. Does the job, and requires no selling. Ditto Last Ride. Same for the Swanton Bomb and Twist Of Fate (to a degree). But we all knew Cena was going to win. Why else did he suddenly come into the storyline? Permalink | 7th April 2009: Tonight is a bit of an odd night. There are undeniable tensions between myself and Slaphead, but he is doing a remarkable job is of keeping his cards close to his chest. This said, I know the guy is entirely untrustworthy. And we know this because he has a history of sticking knives in my back. Not just being in cahoots with The Scotsman over defacing my certificate (which according to The Hero, he should be sacked for). Then there are the customers. They've been pretty dull and thin on the ground. And without exception, every single one seems to miss the concept of "go to the till when you've finished". They come to the till, then wander off and buy some more things. As a cashier, it is so infuriating, because you have to then explain to new customers that you're waiting for some muppet who has wandered off. As it turns out, Slaphead told me that The Scotsman was the one who defaced my certificate. Well, if colleague of the month irritated him, then my next target is really going to peeve him. See, he believes work is turning up, going home and getting paid. I disagree. From my job I have made friends, gained and lost a lover, and become a part of an autonomous group within the company. A far richer experience than just "turn up, go home, get paid". I've even turned my work into a a business on the side (and will do again). Eagle eyed readers will be aware I am in the process of creating a new Linux Distribution (well, technically 3, but under one heading). Such a thing requires PR. LOTS of PR to get it noticed from all the other distributions and gain attention from Windows users. Methinks Law Of Attraction kicked in again, as before work tonight I was researching how to market my little distro, and when I got into work, there was a memo asking if any members of staff have an unusual hobby which could be featured in the new staff magazine. I'm not just going to ask. Everyone will ASK. I am going to send them a copy of each of my distros (netbook, desktop and Windows refugee) along with a maxed out version of my Linux. Development is going to be furious. It's going to need to be to get it from prerelease state to "Try this as a Windows replacement" state. This said - I used Desktop edition this morning and began forgetting I wasn't using Ubuntu... Lastly, I blitzed work today. Slaphead made comments about me being lazy, and not doing enough work. Quite how working the backup chiller, tins, pet food, teas and coffees, cereals and biscuit and cake sections in an hour and a quarter isn't enough is beyond me, but hey ho. So I brought a secret weapon. A sachet of Yerba Mate. My god did it work. Slaphead had 89 cases of ambient to work. I had 130 cases of chilled, 25 cases of meat and 29 cases of produce to work. I finished before him. Actually, I finished, tidied, and smoked a cigarette by the time he finished. But that wasn't quite enough for me. When I get competitive, I like to bury my opposition. So when he came past me with Queen Chav, he said "Yeah, I did all the work tonight. TSM just stood on the tills looking like a moron". I smiled sweetly and said "You had 89 cases of ambient, I had 189 cases of chilled, and I finished before you. Don't you remember? I told you I was finished when we went out for a smoke and you said you still had 2 trolleys of stuff and the trolley you were working?" His face fell and Queen Chav said "Bloody hell, bit keen weren't you TSM?" Overheard in Cafe Nero Lymington - "What are your plans this week? Apart from letting me down" and previously in the same afternoon from the same woman - "Say yes or we are no longer friends" Permalink | 6th April 2009: I am not having fun at all tonight. Normally I find something to cling onto to make it a halfway decent night. But not tonight. You see, I've decided that I really can't stand my colleagues. And I do have justification for this. I went into our canteen, where our rotas are hung up as well as staff notices to see who was the manager in the morning. And then looked at my colleague of the month certificate. I should explain here that I am proud of that certificate - and pride is not an emotion or concept I understand that well. To me it seems to share a lot of traits with arrogance. But I've been at the store for 5 years, and I think I do my job well, but I know I am disliked by a LOT of people. So, I am proud that management made me colleague of the month. Which is why I was disgusted, outraged and furious that when I saw it, someone had put "Creep" after my name. I know who it was. At least I have a good idea. The Scotsman is really bitter that I got it. Not that he does anything above and beyond his defined role to get colleague of the month. So I go and tell Slaphead about it, and his response is an odd one. Kind of muted, disinterested. Same with The Bombshell. Now, Slaphead was hanging around in the corner with The Scotsman yesterday morning near my certificate. And The Bombshell spent the day with The Scotsman today. So really, not that surprised that either of them are give a damn that it happened, because they either agree with it or conspired towards it. And this is why I am not having a good night tonight. You see, I've decided that if they want to be like that, fine. I have had enough of the three of them. All three feel entitled to mock my condition, which at least one will do on at least a weekly basis. Prime example last night was The Scotsman - he yelled "Can't read, can't write, can't do f*ck all. Excuse to be f*cking lazy if you ask me. Nothing wrong at all with you, you lazy f*ck". Nice. The Bombshell frequently calls me stupid. And Slaphead on any given shift I work with him will call me a f*cking idiot at least once. So I am mounting a fightback. A one man fightback. If they want to be all friends and co-conspiritors together, that's fine. But I am not being party to it. Nor am I going to pretend for one second longer that I am neurotypical. I do it to "fit in". I'm not neurotypical, and I don't fit in, and I am really glad about it. So, I am keeping my mouth shut, being civil to them, but not engaging them in conversation. They no longer interest me. End of rant. Permalink | 5th April 2009 So, as I rapidly blogged last night (very late last night), I have a usable version of my Linux distro. Actually, I am writing my blog on it right now. Well sort of. You see, I have a fully operational distro running on my Dell Mini running from a 512mb flash drive. Except it's not entirely my distro. It has my hallmarks, but not entirely my entire user interface. Which is a shame. Act in haste, repent at your leisure as the saying goes. Tonight is a horrible shift. I am working with The Scotsman and Slaphead. The Scotsman is being a lazy little toad tonight. Refusing to authorise petrol, refusing to serve customers, and working at a snail's pace. Thank god he is on holiday next week and Slaphead is in most of next week. I should also blog about what happened yesterday morning. Shoe was walking around hobbling, so The Bombshell asked her why she was hobbling. She said it was because Slaphead had kicked her in the knee. He went ballistic. He yelled "Where is he? He is kick my mum! I am kill to him!" and then stormed off hunting for Slaphead. Shoe hobbled after him and told him she was joking. I was out the back putting overs away, and I told him I thought it was sweet that he thought of Shoe as his mum. He then yelled "No-one is kick my mum!" and punched his fist then stormed off again. Apparently it took Shoe and Slaphead to explain to him that it was a joke. Sorry for a lack of commenting lately, been putting a LOT of work into my distro to get it to release quality in time. Finally got the Netbook edition to Release Candidate quality... 4th April 2009: Tonight has been a fun night. No bad customers, but The Bombshell has provided us with many laughs. He comes out with so many things which give us so much ammunition against him. For example, just now he screamed at me "Slaphead, she is kick my mum!" Turns out he actually didn't kick Shoe at all. Not that Shoe is his mum, but this is who he was referring to. Her knee went on Wednesday, and Slaphead said it was because he kicked her. The Bombshell took this as fact. In the same way that I told him that Shoe wanted to see him out the back in 5 minutes for a quickie. He took it literally and went out the back and asked her for a quickie. He was furious when he came back on the shop floor. Slaphead and I have a pact not to reveal to him exactly what a quickie is. There is mileage in that one... Another one he came out with is that apparently "my new girlfriend, he is love me. He loves me very much!" To which Slaphead pounced and said "Always wondered about you...now I know what it is." Needless to say, being the strict and devout homophobe The Bombshell is, there was spitting, swearing and screaming at this accusation. No commenting today because I have been hugely busy working on my Linux distro. It's really close to being finished for release. I'm hoping for a release date of 15th April for all 3 versions - Netbook, Desktop and Windows Refugee Editions. 3rd April 2009: So tonight has been really dull too. I think I may have just had my moment of the night. A 5 minute chat with a taxi driver about the state of the economy and how tax rebates rather than bank bailouts would have restarted the economy. Because honestly, that is the biggest thing that has happened all night. No customers, no staff issues (we're not talking, so issues are irrelevant) and just generally nothing much of anything going on. I did have one, just one, decent customer tonight. By decent I mean blogworthy. He came in and really, refused to not be noticed. Green suede jacket, red jumper, a cream scarf and blue jeans. That's a lot of colours for one person. Me, I like to stick to one colour, mostly black. Sometimes grey with it if I am feeling a bit of a devil. But he then came to the till and said "Good evening my dear fellow! I am situated at petrolium dispensing device number four" really loudly. I mean, come on, seriously. Who does that? Then when he paid he said "Good day to you sir! May your forthcoming activities all be immensely pleasurable ones", bowed, and then left. Now I like eloquent speech. Big fan of it. Big fan of Russell Brand for speaking that way. But come on, when you are paying for petrol at midnight, do you really need to speak like that? Especially at volume. And bowing. Again, big fan of manners, and I STILL hold doors open for people, even at work. But there are limits. I don't bow to people who serve me. I don't expect people I serve to bow at me. Besides, if we're doing manners by the book, shouldn't I have bowed at him? I also had possibly the thickest customer I have ever met. It was one of the John Pyatt workers, so no surprises there about lack of brainpower. He came up with two packets of crisps and they're on an offer for £1.05 each or two for £1.20. The conversation went like this: TSM:"That's £1.20" JPW:"Nah mate, they're £1.05 each on the shelf" TSM:"Yeah, they're on a special offer of two for £1.20" JPW:"F*cking rip off mate, I ain't got enough" TSM:"Ummm...sir, you've given me..." JPW:"Nah mate, don't give me that, I ain't got enough, put 'em back" TSM:"But..." JPW:"I ain't got enough, ok? Stop trying to upsell me! F*ck's sake!" TSM:"They are TWO for one pound twenty or ONE for one pound five" JPW:"Oh, f*ck that mate, you've lost me now. It's too complex innit?" TSM:"*exasperated sigh* You have given me two pounds ten, they are one pound twenty. Let me give you the 10p back and give you 80p change, then you get your crisps and money back" JPW:"Oh, whatever mate, too complex innit. I don't get it. F*ck's sake. If you say it's right, guess it must be, you're some f*cking genius or something, right?" TSM bites tongue VERY hard and hands over his change. The funniest part is, this guy used to buy a £5 scratchcard every day called "Rich For Life". I don't know what is scarier, his potential reaction when time after time he didn't win £40,000 a year for life, or what would happen if he actually did win £40,000 for life. I'm also guessing that he does the scratchcards because he's been consistently turned down for lottery tickets because of invalid cards filled in... Lastly, and hugely off topic, well done to Honduras for beating the ass off Mexico. 3-1 is a spanking. And it seems that the Mexican FA know this, because Sven Goran Erikson has been fired as their coach! Ha. Ha. Ha. It's OK Sven. You may have lost Nancy, you may have lost your job, but it's fine. You're in Mexico, and Faria is based in LA. It's just a short plane trip to LA, and you never know, she might even do you for less than the £8000 she was charging a few months ago. Permalink | 2nd April 2009: So, didn't blog yesterday. And for good reason. First, yesterday was a little hectic. I had to sleep, get lunch, get my hair cut, and then go to Bournemouth for my university meeting. It was a little bit of a washout as only one person turned up. But, the good thing is that the person who turned up was a very influential person in the community. We discussed many things, from maths, to AI, the future of Linux, the inevitable demise of Ubuntu when Woof matures, the bootloader in Puppy and how it's so clever, and netbooks. We also discussed my own brand of Linux, and the things I am trying to bring to it. He seemed to believe I was onto the right track, and even offered to donate some code to my project. Can hardly believe it. Someone I look up to and respect wants in on my project. I was totally amazed. OK, so, he doesn't exactly want in, but he does want to donate some code to it, and likes the direction I am headed. Small. Fast. Clean. Permalink | |